How to Live a Magical Life

Dear Ones,

On Friday, I had a rich and fun conversation with therapist and meditation teacher, Kirat Randhawa. It was the first conversation in a series I am curating - called Desire and Dharma for Instagram and Youtube.

I asked Kirat, "Why should people investigate their deepest desires and longings? Why does it matter?"

Her response was that if we want to live lives of depth, joy, and magic, we need to be in touch with deepest swells and pulls of desire within us. Connecting to this desire means connecting to our life force. It gives us energy. It lights up our senses. It brings us close to joy.

Of course, this light-up, deep desire is different than what I call the "consolation prize" desires that we reach for on a day-to-day, minute-to-minute level to distract us from our pain or our fear. I need this accolade in order to be happy. I need to scroll for a little longer to ease my anxiety. I need a vacation to find my joy. I call these consolation prizes because they are fleeting. They do the job of giving us a hit of pleasure in the short term, but they don't satisfy the inner ache for the long run.

So how do we shift from the consolation prize to the real thing? To actually feeling the satisfaction we are craving?

Ask yourself the question - what do I really want right now? Don't judge the answers. Write down (or sit in meditation) with the responses, as they come.

Then ask yourself the question - is there a deeper desire underneath? Again, do not judge or force anything. Just see what emerges. If you aren't sure, just keep asking the question, again and again.

Finally, ask yourself - how do I think I will feel if I get the object of my desire? If I get that promotion, or this country gets a new president, or I find love? Will you feel relaxed? Safe? Loved? Alive? Like you belong? Try to let go of whether it will actually happen or not in real life - simply stay in (and return to) the feelings you will feel if it did.

This is how we claim our deepest desires. This is how we allow them to light us up - whether we actually get what we want. Give it a try and let me know what happens!

Love,

Yael

PS: I'm so excited to invite those of you in the NYC area to my conversation and workshop with the amazing Dr. Sheikh Faiyaz Jaffer: Goals with Soul, on November 17 at 5:30pm at NYU. Would love to see you there!

PPS: Did you have the chance to take my brand new (FREE) desire quiz? In just 2 minutes, it will tell you how you handle your desire and what your healing path should be. Let me know what you get and if it resonates!

Yael Shy is the CEO and Founder of Sefira Wellness with over two decades of supporting others in uncovering their inherent worth and capacity for deep joy through mindfulness. She is the author of the award-winning book What Now? Meditation for Your Twenties and Beyond (Parallax, 2017) and teaches at NYU’s Wagner School of Public Service. You can find her on Instagram at @yaelshy1.

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