In the Dark With You

Dear Ones,

I was driving home after dark last week and I thought to myself, is it always this dark at this time in December? The night felt inky thick and all-encompassing, wrapping itself around everything that wasn't in the direct line of my headlights. I noticed myself tensed up, clutching the wheel unnecessarily tight, my shoulders and arms clenched.

It made me think about the quote from E.L Doctorow (via my friend Liz, via Anne Lamott): "Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

I think this is an apt description for life in the darkest time of winter. There is so much we cannot see about what is ahead of us. There is even less we can control. The best we can do is relax our bracing muscles. Take a deep breath. and move slowly in the direction of what is in front of us.

Yinyuan Longqi, a 17th Century Zen master, goes one step further. He writes:

"Don’t light a lamp—there’s no oil in the house.​
​It’s a shame to want a light.​
​I have a way to bless poverty:​
​Just feel your way along the wall."

Even with no headlights, no oil, and no idea about what comes next, there are clues and treasures and miracles to be found, right where we are.

Chanuka began a few nights ago.* Thinking about Yinyuan's poem, I find myself wondering -- what if the miracle of Chanuka was not just that the little oil that was supposed to last only one night lasted for eight, like we were all taught? What if the miracle was (and is) that each night, we learn/ed how to relax just a little bit more and face the darkness and unknown of our lives? That we learn/ed to find our way forward, not with a clear map and a well-lit path, but in the thickest shadow, with the wisdom that comes only from these depths?

I'm thinking it's the wisdom of allowing ourselves to rest.

of listening for our intuition.

of opening to a love that holds us, and of which we are all part.

of letting go into deep trust.

Do you feel it? Sometimes I do, sometimes I need a reminder.

If you do too, let this serve as that reminder. Rather than bracing against the cold and the dark, can you soften? Rather than flailing around to find the light, can you put your hands up on the wall and feel your way to where you are meant to be?

*Of course, this Chanuka also began in violence and heartbreak. Rabbi Sharon Brous wrote this beautiful Op-Ed about holding and witnessing both the humanity and the horror in the tragedy.

Desire and Mothering/Caregiving:

It was such a delight talking to my friend - the incomparable meditation teacher, Jackie Stewart - for my Desire and Dharma Series on Youtube (subscribe today!). We spoke about the challenges of balancing our own desires with those of our kids, and how to tell the difference between a desire and an agenda.

One of my favorite quotes from Jackie:

“I believe that from the standpoint of basic goodness, our desires come from a really good place. Even when the expression comes out a little wobbly, there’s something wholehearted underneath. The practice is learning to look for that — to find what’s really driving the whole thing.”

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Let's Dream into 2026 Together

Do you need the time and space to look backwards to help you process last year? Would you like the chance to ground yourself, meditate and listen deeply to your inner guidance about how to approach 2026? Are you ready to translate that wisdom into action, planning out your year with intention and clarity?

If so, join me for this powerful mini retreat and visioning workshop:

Reflect, Renew, Reveal

Sunday, January 4, 2026

3-5pm ET VIA ZOOM (recording available after retreat).

Sliding scale ($36-72)

For more info and to register, click here.​

Want to Learn to Guide People in Jewish Meditation in 2026?

I'm so thrilled to be continuing my collaboration with the Institute for Jewish Spirituality next year, offering Flourish: A Jewish Meditation Immersion and Certification Program for those who would like to dive deeply into Jewish and Buddhist meditation practices in a warm community and to receive certification and training in how to guide others. Use the code YS_2026 for $100 off the tuition price.

Sending so much love your way,

Yael

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Yael Shy is the CEO and Founder of Sefira Wellness with over two decades of supporting others in uncovering their inherent worth and capacity for deep joy through mindfulness. She is the author of the award-winning book What Now? Meditation for Your Twenties and Beyond (Parallax, 2017) and teaches at NYU’s Wagner School of Public Service. You can find her on Instagram at @yaelshy1. ​ 2299 Summer St. #1249, Stamford, CT 06905 ​Unsubscribe · Preferences​